


Should I tell him?

by LoverOfWriting



Series: Malec: What our eyes didn't see (Codas) [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Love, M/M, Malec, Parabatais, That bright thread of light, doubts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-19 00:50:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9410300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoverOfWriting/pseuds/LoverOfWriting
Summary: Based in episode 3 and that sneak peek we saw of episode 4, when Alec brings forth his continually postponed date with Magnus.This is written from Alec's pov, when he was in that coma state. What he felt, what he thought.It is also my vision of what I would like to end that scene in ep . I hope you like it!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, loves! I always want more Malec that we get in the show, so this little story popped into my mind, based in my own desires ;-)
> 
> Feel free to comment anything you like to share! 
> 
> And if you like the ending, please thank to my fabulous beta Nath! My first draft ending exactly like the scene in ep 4, and she was the one to suggest me to change it a bit. And she beta-ed truly fast, because I wanted to upload it before ep 4 this next Monday. I can't be more grateful to her! <3

Alec couldn't move. Could barely breath. His mind was floating in a cold, dark mist. His heart, torn in two, reaching out to his other half. His brother, kidnapped by an evil force. His parabatai, lost to a powerful force that threatened the only life they had ever known. 

He needed him. He needed Jace to feel complete. To feel whole. To feel grounded.

Without Jace, Alec was sure he would die. He was already slipping, unable to get a hold on anything, his soul fighting to get free of his laying body. 

Alec knew that the last tracking had been a dangerous move. A reckless one, in fact. Baring his soul to the open world of the shadows had been the riskiest thing he had ever done.

And now the freezing shadows were claiming him.

But there was this cord. This thin, apparently weak, brilliant thread made of pure light that kept him tethered, somehow, to this world. A thread made of a sweet masculine voice which appealed to his soul to come back to him. Made of warm feelings and hot tears. Made of caressing hands and a soft, fleeting press of lips over his own.

That voice in his head was low, raspy, breathless.

_"Come back! Come back! Please, come back!"_

If Alec wouldn't have known better, he would have said it was begging.

Almost crying. 

But no. Surely the High Warlock of Brooklyn wouldn't cry over him, would he?

Yet still…

Alec couldn't move, but he could feel.

He wanted to shout that he could feel.

He wanted the man at his side to know that he could feel him.

Then a different light came through the fog. Powerful, raging, hurting light. 

Jace.

His parabatai held him, his tears wetting Alec's face and shirt, as he recited the words of their mutual oath with a choked voice:

_Entreat me not to leave thee,_  
_Or return from following after thee—_  
_For whither thou goest, I will go,_  
_And where thou lodgest, I will lodge._  
_Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God._  
_Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried._  
_The Angel do so to me, and more also,_  
_If aught but death part thee and me._

And Alec exhaled and slipped a bit more. But not into the shadows. His exhausted body collapsed, but his brother's strong arms kept him afloat, his tears pulling Alec out of the void.

Alec found a thread of voice that allowed him to repeat the last words of his oath.

Jace's mismatched eyes looked at him in disbelief, joy and fear mixed on his battered face.

And Alec cried. He cried on his brother's shoulder, as Jace cried on Alec's.

Then, as quick as Jace had come to him, he was taken from him again. The Clave, that inflexible block of straight-laced people, had pegged him as a traitor, and not even the fact that Jace had come to save his parabatai meant a thing to them.

Alec watched them taking Jace away, his heart heavy, wondering and worried. He wasn't strong enough to stop them in that moment, but he swore to himself that he would do anything in his power to save him from a sure death.

Meanwhile…

There was him.

Magnus.

The creator of the bright thread. The one who kept Alec alive until his other half came to pull him out of the limbo. 

The one who cried for him, who suffered for him, who cared for him. The one who stayed with him for long hours, overexerting himself, exhausting his magic. Racking his brain in search of a way to bring Alec out of the grasp of that unholy place.

_Come back!_

As soon as Jace was arrested, Magnus let Clary's hand go and went to Alec's lounge chair. He hadn't even been aware of holding the red-haired girl's hand when Alec revived.

"Don't worry now, Alec." He said, his voice soft and caring, sitting carefully at the foot of the chair. Not daring to touch Alec. Almost shy. "We'll find the way to exonerate him. But please, don't move yet. You need to rest."

Alec looked fully at him then. At his beautiful face stricken with tears, his eyes' makeup blurred. But Magnus' facial expression showed such a relief, his joyous sparkling gaze fixed on Alec, that the Shadowhunter felt as if that bright thin thread was still calling at him.

He wanted nothing more than to take Magnus' hand and squeeze it. To tell him…

What?

That his heart was divided between fear for his brother, and that warm sensation caused by Magnus' dark eyes? That as much as he wanted to run after Jace, there was a part of him that wished to stay in that loft forever, wrapped in Magnus' tender loving care? 

That Jace was his past and present, but that Alec already knew that Magnus was his future?

Should he tell Magnus? Would he even be able to find the words?

"Rest now, darling." Magnus' soothing voice breathed. "Regain your strength. We will talk later."

Alec swallowed and nodded. He threw a last glance towards his sister, whose bright smile lightened the room, and closed his eyes.

He knew he was safe.

 

****

 

Alec's dreams weren't peaceful. At all. Too many things running through his mind.

But his body, young and strong, along with a couple of iratzes, recovered pretty well after a night of sleep.

He found out through Isabelle that Magnus had been summoned by the Clave, probably to make him answer for his transgression when knocking Raj out and stealing Alec from the Institute, against Aldertree's orders.

Alec paced anxiously outside the room where they were questioning Magnus. His sigh was loud and clear when he saw the warlock coming out of the room, his gait light and nonchalant.

"Alexander!" He greeted him, grinning delightedly.

"Magnus." Alec said, and chided himself immediately. Surely he could have come up with another sentence. A more proper, fitter response to the flutter in his chest.

Because Magnus dressed in that midnight blue shirt was a sight to behold.

_Should he tell him?_

"What happened in there?" Alec asked instead.

Magnus told him, in the same casual tone, that he would be probably punished for what he did.

Alec felt a twinge of guilt.

"And all for trying to save my life." He scoffed.

Magnus just smiled and shook his head.

That wonderful, sweet, knowing smile of his.

_Should he tell him?_

But what if Magnus didn't feel the way Alec did? What if Magnus had just been upset because his magic hadn't been enough to save him?

So Alec made a quick compromise between his heart and his mind.

"Jace may have been the one who pulled me out, but I did feel you there, and it did make a difference, so… thank you."

Magnus looked mildly surprised by his words but answered airily:

"Thank YOU, for not dying on me. I'm glad that my little effort didn't go unnoticed."

Alec smiled, recognizing Magnus' way to take the heat out of the issues.

"No, they didn't. I felt…" He cut himself abruptly, flushing and dropping his eyes.

Magnus stepped closer, his voice lower and softer, setting his ringed hand lightly on Alec's arm.

"What did _you_ feel, Alexander?"

Alec looked around nervously, watching the buzzing and controlled movement at the Institute He took the warlock by his elbow and led him to a more secluded corner. Not because Alec didn't want his colleagues to watch them together, but because he wished for some intimacy to say what he needed to say.

Magnus let him do with an amused expression on his face.

"Magnus…" Alec began, his nervousness making his voice stutter. "I don't really know whether I felt or a dreamt some things. I had visions of Jace and me… reminiscences, I guess. How we met. How we trained together. How we became parabatais."

The warlock looked at him expectantly, a little frown on his smooth forehead.

"And all the while, I felt your magic like a blanket around me." Alec continued, straining to keep his voice in check, though he felt his ears burning.

_By the angel, this was going to be harder that Alec had expected._

"I mean… Your magic felt good. More than good! Like when you are cold and you step out in the sun, and then you get all warm and…" He blabbed, the right words running away from his mind, his face hot red.

"Why, thank you, Alexander." Magnus grinned, pleased.

"But there also was that other feeling… " Alec gazed at him through his lashes, his gaze down. 

He could have died from embarrassment in the spot, but he wasn't going to stop.

Maybe it was too soon. Maybe he was afraid to rush things out. 

Maybe it was time to forget his fears.

Magnus seemed dumbfounded, however.

"Tell me." He encouraged the young Shadowhunter.

Alec swallowed hard and let it fly:

"Did you kiss me while I was out?"

Magnus opened his eyes widely and averted his gaze.

And even with his wonderful bronze skin, Alec could see that he had blushed. As much as Alec had.

"Err… I'm sorry, Alec." Now it was time for Magnus to stammer, his eyes fixed on the ring he was turning around on his finger. "I didn't mean to take advantage of you… I was out of answers… You didn't respond to any of my magic! And I thought… I thought… It was childish, I know! I'm so sorry, Alec…"

"Hey. Don’t'." Alec said softly, lifting the warlock's chin with one of his long warrior fingers. "I think that was the most endearing thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you."

Magnus looked into Alec's eyes and didn't find anything but sincerity and warmth.

"You are not mad at me, then?"

"For trying whatever crossed your mind to save me?" Alec's lips twitched upwards. "I'm honored. And so grateful!"

He got a little bit closer to the warlock.

"But it wasn't fair, anyway." He said, his voice almost a whisper.

"Why?" Magnus seemed to have some kind of problem with his breathing, his eyes fixed on his boyfriend's alarmingly close lips.

"I didn't get to kiss you back." Alec inclined his head and touched briefly Magnus' lips with his own.

Magnus sighed and opened slightly his mouth, relaxing into the kiss. He threw his arms around Alec's waist, while the Shadowhunter pulled him flush against his strong, tall body, their mouths dancing in the process of learning their shape, their taste, their needs.

The sound of someone clearing their throat made them leave their own bubble of peace.

Raj was looking away, obviously uncomfortable with the situation. He briskly communicated Alec the urgent meeting he needed to attend to and fled, but not before Magnus, still wrapped in Alec's arms, teased him about his wellbeing. 

As if the warlock hadn't almost choked him the evening before, and thrown him against a wall, just because the dark skinned Shadowhunter threatened to expel Magnus from Alec's side!

Alec grinned at his boyfriend's cheekiness, hugging him a bit closer.

"Rain check?" Magnus suggested, disentangling himself from his cozy place in Alec's arms.

"Yes. Is it okay?" Alec asked, his face contrite.

"Go battle your demons. We can talk later. Maybe while having that dinner we keep postponing?" Magnus smiled, shooing him.

As a beaming Alec left Magnus to attend to that demon briefing, he knew. Maybe he hadn't told Magnus everything yet.

But he would. And it wouldn't take him long.

Because Magnus not only was his future.

He was his present already.


End file.
